i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
