I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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