Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
its not stalking. its research.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
