Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
