I'm really into asian looking animals
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
