Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
