i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
