Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
