I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
