i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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