I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Everyone says I win the strip club
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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