Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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