he wants to bone in the snuggie
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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