Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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