I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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