3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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