Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
