I just cut my nipple shaving
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
