You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize