Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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