Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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