I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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