At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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