God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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