Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize