Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
