Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
