bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
