But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
