I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
