she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
