I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
soo... how was my night?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
