Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
