I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
it was like eating out sand paper
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
