hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
