Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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