this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
