put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
