i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
