I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Pants are for mortals
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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