Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize