I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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