A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
