ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
