Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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