He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
