careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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