one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize