shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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