Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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