the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
