I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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