so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
