I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
