..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
