i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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