So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
