Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
